Hey there, I’ve heard your band’s music played on WOXY.com. Some of your experiences are very similar to mine. Life with a disability can definitely.be interesting. I know. I have a severe genetic condition called Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy which makes it necessary for me to use a power wheelchair to get around and a ventilator to breathe. While my disability is much more physically limiting and permanent I can only imagine what it’s like to suddenly become disabled due to an accident. The progression of my condition is somewhat gradual and I’ve had the luxury of having time to (physically and mentally) get used to the slow loss of my physical abilities.

2. People are always going to stare. I’ve found myself marveling that there was a time when I could disappear in a crowd & become invisible.

Yep. Even if you are just a little bit different physically, people will stare. I don’t remember a time when people didn’t stare at me though.

3. Strangers often ask what happened or offer a “feel better!” I always think how different, how inappropriate, that question would be if I was not going to recover from my injuries or if any of my bandmates had not survived.

That is a common one. I’m so different that often times people won’t even ask me the question directly. They ask whoever I’m with “What’s wrong with him?” when I’m sitting right there. Now that’s inappropriate.

4. People are often self-absorbed. I can’t count the number of times people have bumped into me, let doors slam on me, or not slowed their vehicles as I made my way through a crosswalk. It is a minor thing, but so infuriating when you are just struggling to live your life as you once did.

They are oblivious or they pay too much attention to you. There’s not much middle ground.

5. Strangers also have the power to make your day. I remember the first concert I went to after the accident, the waitress at Lincoln Hall was amazing. Without making me feel awkward, she checked on me every time she passed by my seat. When everything in the world feels like a challenge, sometimes an unexpected ally can change everything.

Those are the people I appreciate. I try to go to shows whenever I can. Just one helpful stranger can go a long way in making a concert experience enjoyable.

7. It’s very frustrating sometimes, this whole experience. In my weaker moments, I find myself thinking how unfair it is to be carrying all this emotional baggage related to the crash, things that other people couldn’t possibly understand; and it is my job to excuse all the boneheaded shit people say to me because, hey, they couldn’t possibly understand.

It’s totally unfair. There are some people out there who understand though.

9. Everyone needs & deserves health care. I am one of the extraordinarily lucky people who has employer-provided health insurance. I simply cannot explain how much it has meant to me that I have spent the past three months focusing on my recovery, not fearing an ever increasing debt. Everyone deserves that. No one in America should go broke as they are fighting to survive.

I totally agree. I’m quite fortunate to have insurance through my mother. I couldn’t get insurance on my own. MD is kind of a pre-existing condition.

Are you able to play the guitar again? That’s one thing I wish I could do. I can really only move a few fingers so playing guitar is definitely out of the question for me. Anyway, I hope you and the other band members continue to recover. Good luck in the future.

Feel free to e-mail me at buzzstein at gmail dot com.

i have a permanent disability, and i walk with a limp (and sometimes a cane, too), and this post is so true. i’ve had people (strangely, a lot of cabbies) ask me what’s wrong with my “foot/leg/knee” or just, “what’s wrong with you?” in general. perfect strangers have thrown me pity parties (most memorably, someone in the cheese aisle at whole foods) or given me encouragement (because other people are worse off). kids stare at me.

but the kindness people have afforded me is, yes, heartening. people giving up seats or offering help, without being condescending. rock-wise, chicago venues in particular — shouting out the Vic — have always treated me with kindness and consideration when i’ve gone there.

keep on getting better, all of you guys.