Ted Faggard
February 1, 2009
TPR is not amused. If you aren’t checking CNN or watching Larry King, Ted Haggard is an evangelical preacher who was stripped of duties in 2006 for admitting sex with a male prostitute. He’s in the news again because another man (that his church payed to keep quiet) threatened to come forward about their sexual relationship because there is a new documentary “The Trials of Ted Haggard.” UGH FUCKING UGH. If this isn’t the newest edition of the ex-gay movement, I don’t know what is. Haggard and his wife won’t shup up about how satisfying their sex life is and his therapy. He mentions labels and how the “boxes don’t work for him,” and you know what, Ted? You are right. The boxes don’t work because you are a fucking faggot-sphere that spins right round, baby, right round like a goddam broken record, and all the forced sex with your wife won’t wipe away the brown colored ring around your queer-ass mouth. If the world wasn’t watching, this wouldn’t be such a bid deal, but the post-Prop 8 timing and the publicity stunting is so crystal clear.
I once had a coworker think I was gay. He cmotenmed that there were a lot of pretty girls in my city and that it must be good for a single guy like me. I told him I’m not much of a ladies man. And for like four months after that he was weird towards me. I never found out until a new hire told me this guy told him I was gay. At the time I got inappropriately indignant about it. Now I’d be fine with people thinking what they want about me as long as it didn’t affect my work prospects.