I’m beginning to think, in this day and age, that it’s a bit selfish to ask public figures to put everything on the line just so I can have a queer role model. But if we are going to psychologically beat gays and lesbians out of the closet, let’s start a little closer to home. That way, we will be there for all that delicious emotional fallout. We’ll begin by following the girls’ coaches, then move on to staking out the highway rest areas to catch your classmates’s dads or figure out what’s really going on at those Tupperware parties.